The Soul's Journey of Deeper Self Discovery & Healing

It is in the practice of surrender, remembrance and deep trust through the waves of darkness and light, that grace and presence of healing occurs within and without.

The soul... a soul... my soul... your soul... all souls... all around... spread across lands. It calls to us... deeper and deeper to listen to its whisper, like a gentle breeze between seasons change, sharing its subtle mystic message as it sweeps through leaf and branch to reach our ears... like a roar of rich embers of a raging fire igniting passionate flames from deep within, warming our skin... like the echoes of the vast magnificent oceans, its waves hitting the shoreline, wetting our sinking sand-filled toes.

No matter what occupation or vocation, hobby or role we have in this life, the soul continues to call and speak of the truth living inside of us. A truth that is eternally present, a remarkable source of strength, resilience, and softness, and a never ending well of self discovery patiently waiting for us to enter into its mysterious gates. A true home where we can trust in our safety to shed one layer at a time of the weighted down and heavy coatings of decaying snake-skin; to crawl out of the mundanely ordinary and into the evolution of our divinity, knowing that both share in the equilibrium that make us whole inside our home.

The soul is our true home. It is our nest of love and comfort, our sanctuary to retreat into as often as we need to soothe our every tear and wound experienced within our hearts, minds and bodies; it will act as a healing balm that mends any disconnection, and any arbitrary forgetting of the true source from where love births itself.

The soul is our ally, our best friend, the guiding light and torch that leads us on our path as we journey through this blessed life, and as we make our way through our darkest days, it illuminates the other end of the tunnel that can sometimes feel so far away. Again and again it reveals our freedom to live as we are, who we are, and how we are.

The soul has never abandoned us, but we have abandoned it time and time again. There is no blame or fault, however, the nature of human conditioning has offered varied experiences of hurts and confusions, conversely, it has also filled our eyes with the beauty of a sunflower patch, or the birth of a child, but then reveals repeated heartbreaks over again. This juxtaposition of beauty and pain, and the years upon years of not understanding or remembering the truth of our wounding; or equally, the knowing of the source of hurt, but unable to heal from the mishap of knowledge of tools to use, or how to even open the toolbox... all creating more pain, confusion, disconnect, and a disharmonious relationship to our home, our source of freedom and comfort. It has forced some of us to abandon what no longer feels a safe abode.

This separation and distance from what we no longer know as home and our source of love, further creates a stone fortress around the heart, and an emotional and mental lobotomy, that it is impossible to remember the source of our freedom. The soul now, is seen, felt, and known as a dark place... and as some have referred to this as the “dark night of the soul”. Others refer to the soul as “the light of being”. Many have heard, “what a beautiful soul”, while others also hear, “what a tortured soul” or “there is no soul”.

The soul may or may not be dark, may or may not be light, but it would be unfair to say that the soul is the cause of our pain, when merely it is the symptom to a root cause that is unattached to the soul but deeply wounds it when it is malnourished of its vital needs. A rose without water will remain a dry, wilted, and thorny stem rather then bloom with its fragrant aroma, which is its true nature. So the soul needs to bloom, with the innate knowingness of self love and inner trust to be able to know the wisdom of its fullest potential.

How do we then return to our home again? How do remember our way on the path when we’ve abandoned the torch that gave us light in the first place? It may not be the first time that we are remembering how to come back, perhaps its yet another layer of life experience, of needing to lose ourselves and then re-discovering once again who we are, now, on a deeper and more profound level. It may not be the last time either, but perhaps it won’t take as long to find our way back to our soul... and perhaps being lost doesn't mean that we have lost our soul connection either, but rather a deeper calling along our personal journey to return home.

It is always calling, through a whisper, or a roar, or an echo. It may just be a matter of slowing down, maybe even stopping to listen, or perhaps feeling the signals. The soul may speak to us through our body via aches and pains, an upset stomach, a faint feeling, or a headache. It may trigger a repeated emotion to pay attention to, or a mental thought pattern to discern through. Perhaps, it calls us to simply pause in the beauty of the present moment, to smell the sweet scent of flowers dusting through a light breeze that passes us through the air, offering a breadth of a moment, of remembrance, of wholeness and freedom that has never been lost.

And from this space of listening and paying conscious attention to our intuitive awareness, can we begin a healing process, or repeat a deeper level of a healing process that will re-align us once again to our truth, and a simplicity that never left, to a love that never vanished, and to the wild flame that was only tamed by not being tended too; all of it present in us, as the soul is here, buried under rubble with its gates rusted, simply waiting for the maintenance of love and attention.

And so the healing begins, and the inquiry into the dark and shadowy unconscious corners filled with webs awaits us to enter. We must go deep within that call that magnetizes us to this unworldly place, as dingy and scary as it appears, and start to dust and sweep the cobwebs we ourselves co-created. Some discoveries that we uncover there will feel uncomfortable and distressing, and perhaps challenging to accept and face, but with one foot in front of the other, and with the beginning steps of forgiveness, we continue to carve through the darkness and feel our way through moments of familiarity, of remembrance, and all of a sudden we find some softness, and from a thorny edge we feel a small petal of compassion for ourselves and our surroundings. The heavy cloud begins to lift, yet we still take the tepid and graceful steps of a heron observing the environment and conditions around us, accepting that we are exactly where we need to be.

A gentle and more profound sense of letting go occurs that pleasantly surprises us, but a cautious step remains, as an immediate contraction emerges from a swift minute of expansion... trust that this is part of the process... there will be more expansion and there will be more contraction the deeper we look inside and uncover, and unglue the necessary fragments that have attached to our being, or that our being has attached to, for far too long.

We continue to trust each step, and as we do, we forgive more, accept more, and feel compassion even for the scary cobwebs and slimy creatures that surround us, as we know now that rather then hurt us, they are our medicine and antidote for healing. Along the way, we take a few trips and falls, and the first few times we cry or scream or release and shout profanities that make us giggle.... oops be careful... was that a drop of joy?!! We quickly put that smile away, hoping that we weren't seen!

But the road, although not as dim, remains a dark fog, the terrain rocky and uneven, and the cracks in the earth a challenge to see. We trip goofy again, but laugh at ourselves this time, and more light gets drawn in, until we find ourselves walking in some semblance of daylight, still hard to see but clear enough that we begin to recognize when we cross paths with one being, then another, and another. We begin to meet some unique people along the way, that understand, that empathize, and that feel our pain as we feel theirs, that see our light and we see theirs.. it is those people or that one extraordinary person we come across that catalyses our healing on new levels.

This person(s) feel like home, like the remembrance of what love is, or was, or is... again; their presence in our life creates a profound deepening and understanding of love that cracks us open at the seams. As they orbit in and flip our universe around, we realize that even on our solo and lonely journey, we are not so alone, as they too are alone, and together we share in that like-ness. Over time, this wonderful being(s) plays a role and part in reminding us of our soul essence; as intriguing and passionate as it begins, the process unveils aspects less charming, as they reflect the brightness of a mirror reflection that triggers every cell of our being, invoking us once again to want to run for the hills... but we don’t... and they don’t, as there is a shared recognition of a love so profound at its essence, that it begins to take us both back home to ourselves. We recognize in this moment the immense priority of healing on one’s own, and how it too is intertwined in transcendence of healing with the other. The other offers their vision in service and support for us see our own power, and we offer it to them, and we both recognize in a brief moment of sheer vulnerability that they are seeing our soul and we see theirs... what a scary affair for someone else to see something we ourselves haven't seen or remembered in so long.

We are cracked open once more and the stone fortress around our heart has no choice as it crumbles away, once again leaving us vulnerable to the pain and blissful expansion of our hearts... of our singular and unified love... what beauty to share with another/others.

Then suddenly, we can see the torch at the end of the tunnel that we thought burnt out, now knowing that nothing is ever lost, and we recognize that through support, understanding, love, and humility, isolation was the greatest darkness; acknowledging that we can still stand alone and together with a sense of independence and interdependence. We can walk a unified path and still honour our personal journey and path... and so the other recognizes the same.

We return once again to the gates of our soul, graciously surrendering to the mysticism of its sacred embrace. We wipe and shine the rusted entrance, sweep and clear the rubble that suffocated our home, and use the key to unlock the door, open it, and walk back into the sanctuary that never stopped calling us, and infinitely welcomes us; it simply showed us several routes and trails to take along the way, through a myriad of labyrinths... and now, here we are... not to be fooled that we have arrived or figured out the mysteries upon mysteries of life and the ongoing discovery of our soul nature; however, being safely held, fully seen without judgment or shame and being accepted for exactly as we are, may be the greatest and humbling healing ever.

The healing will continue, the pain will continue, as there are never guarantees in this blessed and cursed life; but it may not to be as difficult, it may offer a less strenuous and more transient experience as we journey through, and we may be able to laugh at ourselves a bit more, and with each other. We will continue to learn lessons, perhaps repeating some of them less, or simply recognize more easily when they arise and adjusting with more lightness, less judgement and harnessing more wonder in acceptance of ourselves... of others.

This life is a practice and ceremony, a continuation of our own individual and unique rite to invoke our souls radiance; the dedication and commitment to owing and loving, forgiving and accepting with compassionate surrender and grace, may allow for more of the gentle stirrings of the soul, that keeps us connected, whole and purposeful in the truth of our own calling.

Everything you need is inside of you... through practice, patience, and presence within the tenderness of heart strength, can the grace of breath lead to the path of knowing our deepest self... knowing the freedom of our soul.

By: Andreja Ivic

Thai Massage Practitioner
Lymphatic Massage Practitioner
Reiki Practitioner

Copyright © 2016 Andreja Ivic, on behalf of The Rock Store Inc. All Rights Reserved.